The most painful process in life

Once again, i'm out of relationship again. I cried and cried when i knew there was no turning back. In this relationship, i took the courage to confront him. I guess this time i did something that is very couragous. It was really unexpected.


My heart feels as if it was stabbed by thousands of knives when i knew he had no more feelings for me long ago. I felt i'm so silly to keep on waiting as if he will treat me better one day. I was wrong. I initated a break-up immediately even though it's against my wish.


He tried to explain that we two couldn't work out because he finds it difficult to communicate. He finds it stressed up when i start to pin high hopes on him. He thinks that he is not the guy i wanted all along as he's so many things that i dun like. In fact i told him, if he were to give more concern for me, i will not even think of his negative side. But he didn't.


I felt really upset even i woke up this morning. I had quite a peaceful sleep last night. Thanks to my dearest friends and cousin. (Sharon, Loong n Cousin Joey) I managed to sleep well after chatting with them. At least i know i'm not alone at all. There are people who still cares about my well-being. When i was on my way to school this morning, i received msg from Joey n Veralyn. They really touched me to the bottom of my heart. Even Caryl n deborah send regards to me through Joey. I also want to thank Sarah, Kenneth, cousin Daniel n Winnie... N those who tried to cheer me up.


No worries... After the walk towards the small island from Palawan beach this afternoon with loong, i felt more relieved. It is a place that can calm me down naturally. I like that place a lot. Maybe that will be my cosy place where i can have reflection whenever needed. It helps to clear my messy thoughts within a short period of time.


I told someone that from today onwards, i will shred a tear for him. The original Fiona should revived from now on. I want to be my very ownself. No more hidding of emotions or feelings from ppl. I want to stay happy with a very optimistic attitude in life. I need the energy to go n deal with a pile of assignments n tests. I will not want to worry those who are around me. I just need a period of time to heal from this hurtful experience and a lot of disractions..... I need to keep myself occupied as i know it's not easy to let this go in such a short period of time.


Jiayou, 梁宛玲!!!!!!! Don't let urself down..... !